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ConnorRonnoc (2013-11-18 21:04:06)I think it's mostly that deep down I don't even know what's wrong with your story, so I just thought about the cliches.
bite za dusto
Bean (2013-11-18 21:07:26)^ I only saw the X/Y footage where you get a starter and Kanto starter, so yeah. Any more is likely a coincidence.
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Bean (2013-11-18 21:13:43)MINI: Rival Battle!
Zane: HA! We found you now derps! Prepare to die!
We got 2 gym badges, too.
David: Yeah! Now face our team! Go! Unevolvable syndrome Magikarp!
Zane: Go! Metapod!
Sarah: Ummm...
Jack: Go. Froakie. Tackle Metapod.
Zane: Harden!
19 minutes later...
Zane: Harden!
Jack: THAT'S IT! *Violently punches Zane*
Zane: I'M BLEEDING! I also lost 5 teeth.
Jack: Go! Charizard! Take Zane back to Vaniville town. Don't worry. I'll stay here. Just wait a sec. *Violently attacks David*
Jack: Okay Charizard, now take them back.
END OF MINI
This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:2013-11-18 21:33:59
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BigMooney (2013-11-18 21:38:25)if his name was ben...Team BS..unlike thiis story
*clap clap* +1 Official Spriter For TUC
^Click
Bean (2013-11-18 21:53:56)(10) Rival's Life
*Charizard delivers Zane & David back to Vaniville town*
Zane & David: ...
*Charizard goes back to Jack*
Zane: Back at the start. Well, might as well quit.
Zane: Yeah. Now let's release all our Pokemon. Wait, I have an idea. *Goes on PokeDex, transfers all of them to Prof. Sycamore's lab and Sycamore put's them in the box*
David: WHY DID YOU?! *Smashes the Dex and violently breaks Zane's arm* Now... For the last goodbye... *Put's duck tape (yes, DUCK tape) all over Zane's nose and mouth so he suffers*
David: Now to join Team Flare.
*Zane secretly removes the duck tape with his arms*
Zane: (whisper) Stupid David. I can still get home, though. *Walks into his house*
Zane's mum: ARE YOU OKAY?!
Zane: No. First I was attacked by Jack, which I honestly deserved, I was a jerky ass. His Charizard took me home. But now, my childhood best friend, David, has joined Team Flare. An evil organization. Tell David's parents. Please.
Zane's dad: Okay, this is no good.
*Zane's parents run to David's house*
Zane's dad: Guy, David is joining Team Flare! An evil organization!
Guy/David's dad: WHAT?!
David's mum/Patricia: I'd support those other two, Zane. Give 'em a phone call, put it on loud speaker.
*Zane calls Jack*
Jack: Yes? Who is it?
Zane: I apologize for being an ass. But I have some news.
Sarah: WHAT?!
Zane: David tried to kill me then joined Team Flare. By the way, your boxes have all our Pokemon.
Jack: Okay, I'll defeat him on his first attack.
Zane: I'm counting on you two.
And so, there's a new enemy.
Next time: (11) David Battle
This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:2013-11-18 21:59:56
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Bean (2013-11-18 22:34:57)I'll do it for you, Flipboy.
E rated
Has violence, kids trying to kill eachother.
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Bean (2013-11-18 23:37:26)Mini: Shiny Hunter 3 Ultimate
Grunt: *Walks in grass using PokeRadar method* It's not here yet...
Grunt2: I caught a shiny Magikarp.
3: Shiny Metapod.
4: Shiny metal.
*Everyone beats Grunt4*
5: Shiny Pichu & Persian.
1: Ugh. Most of these are useless, apart from Persian.
2: Shinies suck.
*Everyone jumps on Grunt2*
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Bean (2013-11-19 17:54:18)(11) David Attack
Sarah: Best get some rest for the night.
Jack: Poetry, eh? *Walks into the Pokemon Center*
Jack: Could you heal my Pokemon?
Nurse: Yes.
*Heals Pokemon*
Nurse: Okay, done.
*Jack, Bulbasaur, Froakie & Sarah walk out*
*Explosion appears*
Jack: FROAKIE, BULBASAUR! ATTACK!
*The figure made of Master balls captures them and throws all Pokeballs away but them*
*Master balls catch all Pokemon around*
Jack: DAVID!
Sarah: How dare you!
David. Eh. *Makes them get all out of the Masterballs and flies off*
Sarah: That device!
Jack: WHAT IS THAT DEVICE THERE?!
David: The DataReader 6.72! I'm using it for my plan! *Disappears*
Jack: FROAKIE! BULBASAUR! *Holds*
Meanwhile...
Rachel: David, I think you need to get to Unova.
John: Yeah, there's where the project is set. If the team collapses, we still have that there.
David: Okay. Let me just do one thing first.
Back to our heroes...
Jack: Is that a Magikarp?
*Giant Magikarp squashes Jack*
Sarah: Jack! *Pushes the Magikarp off*
Jack: Handle 'im.
David: Before I go to Unova. Let's battle.
Sarah: GO! Pikachu! Thunderbolt!
David: Go! Yveltal, just whack them into a building with your tail.
*Yveltal just throws them into a building*
David: HA! Beat! Now, off to Unova! *Flies away on Yveltal*
Jack: Ugh.
Sarah & Jack: *Unconscious*
Our heroes seem to be injured.
Next time: (12) Time for the gym.
This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:2013-11-21 22:23:14
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^ "Always keep suprises till later" You also kinda did a late post. I watched a bit of X/Y. Earlier on. I do add what happens in the game several times, though. Some by accident. But hey, what happened in the game that happened here, I didn't even know was in the game.