XxFairyTailXx (2019-06-20 22:37:29)

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May he rest in peace. This is shocking news...

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AntiChrist (2019-06-23 12:18:05)

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Pusheen, you are no longer allowed to comment in this thread. Call it "sensitive" or say "power Trip" if you want, but I'm keeping this memorial thread clean until the sun blows up.

EDIT:

Pusheen has responded using homophobic slurs and claiming that I must be someone with no social life going on a power Trip. What's actually going on is that Spencer was a friend of mine. Nobody will pollute this thread.

For the sake of transparency, yes I used the deleter thing on him. If he isn't permanently banned I'll do it repeatedly if he touches this thread again. Hopefully the rest of you will know better.

This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:
2019-06-29 19:55:53

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LUNARW0LF (2019-09-30 05:21:39)

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Here is some of Spence’s art that I dug up from so long ago:

https://ibb.co/JRVcNjj




Dear Spencer,
I know this message will never reach you. Logically, at least. Yet there is still some hope flickering around inside me that a few of my words may somehow reach you. It makes no sense, I know. It seems like few things make any sense at all now that I’m almost an adult. It hurts to admit that we didn’t leave things on a positive note. Reena told me you killed yourself and my first thought was “oh man, I hated that guy.” But I didn’t really hate you. Not really, especially since you hadn’t been a part of my life for so long. At least two years, give or take a few months-- right? You must have changed a lot since the last time we spoke, whenever that was. I wish I’d known back then. I wonder if you could have been saved. I wonder if I still would have wanted to save you if I hadn’t known how serious you were.
Looking back, I know all you really wanted was attention. You must have been caught up in that same old suffering for so, so long. You lived in a household governed by southwestern Mormonism. That must have been unbearable. You said offensive, vulgar, disgusting things sometimes. People still loved you though. You were truly one-of-a-kind, and I can only hope that the next Spencer who comes along meets a happier ending.
To the boy you used to be-- before the suicide attempts, and before you finally succeeded: To the boy who told me he loved me at 5:34 am on March 4th, 2014. I’m sorry it ended as it did. Everyone is. Looking through our PMs, I completely forgot that we were great friends once. You drew things, and your art was actually wonderful. I drew things for you too. Mostly ponies, and although cringy that doesn’t negate our friendship’s legitimacy. I put this through a reverse image search and found nothing whatsoever. Maybe it only exists in our personal messages, now from nearly 6 years ago. I feel the same melancholic horror looking back at our old friendship as I do when I browse photos of the shadows of nuclear bomb victims.
I had two dreams about you the night after Reena told me you’d died. It took a while for the realization that you were truly gone to fully set in. It was strange having to brush off my pals when they asked me if I was feeling okay because I knew they probably wouldn’t get it. I can only imagine that few people recover socially when they’ve spent most of their adolescence in chat rooms and roleplaying online. Maybe for future generations that won’t be such a taboo. We can only hope, right? We can only hope that more people get the help they need before it’s too late. Spencer, I wish I could have tried. Maybe I wouldn’t have succeeded. Maybe I’d still be here, writing this exact same message. We all wish we can go back and fix one thing or another, but I think it would be worth the effort to save you.

With all of that now ultimately said and never to be done,
goodbye old friend.
Maybe you’ll haunt someone else’s memories now.

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Greentail22 (2019-11-08 23:02:49)

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It's kind of crazy that you have a special place in my memories when we barely hung out. But we were a close group when we did hang out. You were so different when I first met you. I took pride in being your first friend on here, and that pride only grew when you became a bit infamous on here. But I see that you meant so much to so many people. While I may have been your first friend here, I can't lay claim to being your best friend. I never stopped caring for you even if we did stop talking. You mean the world to me. The way I felt when I found out about you passing away is unlike anything I've ever felt. First, it was disbelief, then acceptance, regret, so much pain, and then back to disbelieving. Looking at our PMs is bitter-sweet, but it's been that way for a long time. It has a different feel now that I know I don't have any chance at talking with you again. Back when I first met you, you were a dork. And as the years went by, you turned into a refined dork. But it was always clear to me why people liked you so much. You're a great person. You've always been the nicest. You were so funny. Maybe I stopped talking to you because I'm nothing like that. I don't feel worthy. I'm not like I used to be, but I can still stand to change my character some more. I was 11 when you met me. I was ridiculous. Now, I'm in college. To be fair, I'm still ridiculous, but hopefully to a lesser extent.

I'll probably come back here, because I want to share all my memories of you. I may not have many, but I have enough. Thank you for being in my life. I don't think I'd be the person I am today without you. Goodbye, for now.

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FixedKarma (2020-01-18 04:45:15)

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I never really talked to him, sometimes when he was in chat I'd do a bit of small talk and he posted on at least one of my threads, but that's about it. That thread was about songwriting, I don't think it was quality though, but Mega supported it. Hope you're doing better in your next life Spencer and I wish I could've talked to you more.

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SynTM (2020-07-31 07:20:22)

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who

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carlos12 (2020-09-11 00:24:17)

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I still miss him

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SMOGamerX (2020-09-21 17:08:18)

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jeez, still talking here huh

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FixedKarma (2021-05-09 06:07:55)

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Three years. insane. It's weird to know the world does truly go on without you. I've aged 3 years since now, I'm probably very different from then, I've moved to a different school and done lots of still need a job though.

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