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Broken Pain
HeadHunter (2012-12-07 03:36:04)I think I'll go critic on it:
-Too long & free versed = Zzzzz...
You need to put rhyme in it girl. Otherwise its just jibber-jabber to readers and your the only one who understands the meaning.
... and no, I'm not hunting your head.
Tyanna (2012-12-12 06:10:44)Not bad! Really well done!
Love [check], Life[Not yet] and the pursuit of happiness[Check c:].
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--Untitled--
You love the way the blood flows
You love the scares you left on my heart
You kissed me an said itd be alright
I was stupid to believe you
You treat me like shyt
You it was all You
You hurt me an i kept the smile plastered on my face as on the inside im going insain im about to break from these chains an locks
I finally get the strength to stand
The strength to fight back
You pushed me to far untill my heart has vanished into midair
Id like to see you indur the pain
Spill the blood
Lose your love
And
Find insanity consume you untill theres nothing but pain....heartbreak....darkness
Im here pining your heart to mine
Do you feel the disappearing heartbeat
You caused this
I've seen the fear in your eyes
This is what you created
A monster left for death
I've had enough
Im breaking this chain
Im comeing after you
You've hurt me for the last time
Why are you running
You said your not scared of me
You said alot to me but now Your dead
Barried 6ft under
Im the one who fell victim
Im the one who indured the pain
Im the one to finish you off
And
Ill be the one to start it all over again
2012-11-25 01:30:27