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Creepypastas - Survival guide
Eridan (2012-12-13 11:26:47)[sticky request]
We're waiting every night to finally roam and invite newcomers to play with us for many years we've been all alone
We're forced to sit still and play the same songs we've known since that day an imposter took our life away now we're stuck here to decay
We're forced to sit still and play the same songs we've known since that day an imposter took our life away now we're stuck here to decay
mephyleslover (2012-12-13 23:43:11)its definete lyy letter a!
Did you make this mess?! You better clean it, damnit! >:c
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Also, your family are all dead, your friends are all missing and you're being framed by someone with access to your bedroom. What the
Well, you've come to the right place to find out: These are the simple rules one must follow in order to firstly, not become the victim of creepypasta and furthermore, to come out kicking if the worst does happen. With the help of this guide you too can be the catatonic, traumatised wreck as opposed to the guy currently being worn as a coat by some dude who roams a lot. Just keep these simple rules in mind.
The Survival Guide
1. Mirrors and darkness don't mix.
2. Actually mirrors are a general "NO"; in creepypasta world, there is nothing more sinister.
3. There is zero chance of survival if you look at the thing that no one else can see or answer its question incorrectly.
5. Avoid going to places where everyone else who went there never came back or died inexplicably.
6. If someone stops your vehicle at night and asks to come with you, it would probably be in your best interests to politely decline.
7. Killing is the last method of survival; use it sparingly but without fear.
8. WHO WAS PHONE is always a good thing to ponder. Also who the hell answers a phone while kissing a dead person's sexy daughter? A douche is who.
9. Get a simple .38 revolver. Load it with 2 silver bullets. If you really feel there is no chance to come alive out of a situation, take one shot at whatever's threatening you. If this doesn't work, you still have the last shot to become an hero with.
10. Area 51 is simply too well guarded to let you in. Or to let any alien out.
11. When going to a hotel, try to steer clear of unauthorized areas. If you couldn't resist but you saw a red thing, take some time to consider the price range and hotel standard on your next visit. Have you ever stayed at a haunted Hilton?
12. When booking your hotel stay, Trip Advisor can be an invaluable tool in deeming whether your choice is the scene of a multiple murder/full of dead people/built at the mouth of hell. Local newspapers can also be helpful.
13. Invoking demons, speaking weird languages and performing rituals of any kind is considered dangerous. Refrain from doing that, especially around abandoned warehouses, churches, psychiatric institutions, forests and mirrors.
14. When going to a new area, environmental understanding is a key to survival. Ask around for cursed places, legends, dangers and other details. Listen to the local advice, and don't be afraid to ask if you're unsure of which attacks/disappearances are paranormal and which aren't.
15. Always have a Bible next to your bed. Provides average reading material, proof of beliefs and a really heavy object to throw at enemies.
16. Don't count on holy water. Get a sturdy vial of sulfuric acid and let a priest consecrate it.
17. Japanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. Their ritual is also 100% effective on corporeal forms.
18. If you find 666 messages on your phone, mailbox, email, etc. consider changing the said service provider. Also don't bother listening /reading the messages. It's spam. Extra dimensional, possibly, but spam nevertheless.
19. Old pharmaceutical companies can't help you. Unless you specifically need "Blood Of The Innocent", "Snake Oil", and "Radioactive Syrup". Which is never.
20. If you need to sign it in blood, you do not need to sign it. All mainstream governing bodies will accept contracts signed in ink. Bear this in mind if offered deals that seem too good to be true.
21. Lighthouses are dangerous. Avoid them at all costs. If you work at a lighthouse consider a career in insurance sales, or veterinary care.
22. There is simply no reason to listen to music that causes suicidal tendencies, or to watch films that have had strange/disastrous consequences..
23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.
24. Secret secluded untouched places in old buildings are left untouched for a reason. Pioneers never say die but they have an unusually high mortality rate.
25. Before you start swimming in the ice-cold waters of a murky lake at the center of a dark forest at midnight, ask yourself if you really want to travel to an ancient and terrifying city. If the answer is "no," then stay at home and watch whatever quality programming is available on Cinemax.
26. On your 33rd birthday try celebrating in a well-lit house in the company of others.
27. Refrain from using the One True Name for anything, there is probably a reason people gave it a nick.
28. Watching TV static for long periods may be hazardous to your health; try satellite TV to combat this problem.
29. Get a cat. Those furry little hairballs seem to perceive unnatural phenomena better than us, and if desperate, simply throw it at whatever is about to get you.
30. Cemeteries are bad places, especially in foggy conditions and on Halloween.
31. Try not to close your eyes, ever. If you must, do so only briefly.
32. If you hear chanting, run until you are out of earshot.
34. Legends can offer valuable insight of where not to go camping with friends.
35. When babysitting, ascertain the family's tastes and preferences, to avoid being killed by poorly selected statues.
36. Even if you are certain that running will not save you, it is always best to try.
38. Before you pray to Satan to destroy your soul, you may want to stop and consider whether summoning a demon and getting absolutely nothing in return at the cost of your soul is a good idea.
39. Think twice before going with your friends on a camping trip into a forest where a mysterious creature is said to reside. A polite "Thanks, but no." will suffice.
41. Before going into a mysterious cave with little space and finding mysterious runes written in white, STOP. Ask yourself whether or not it's actually worth it, then turn and get your ass out as fast as the situation warrants before a deathly creature tries to grab your leg.
42. If you survive, which is unlikely, make sure you become well known as a insane person who some other poor sap will hear about. They will eventually talk to you so you can tell them how to preform a satanic ritual to summon a demonic being. After this you must immediately stop imitating an insane person so that when they come back with their soul in six hundred and sixty six pieces to rage at you for doing this to them your house will be for sale.
69- Never EVER accept a game cartridge that you played as a child if it's missing a label or is old, shabby and has it's name written on it in marker, no matter how nostalgic you are; it's a trap!
43.It's probably best to refrain from looking up on Google the phrase "huskies with grins". You'll just end up having to spread the word.
44.Never allow someone to take a picture of you with an outdated camera. If it's too late, your only bet is to gamble with Death. Or just trap him in a photo. That works too.
45.Don't play with dolls if they come with a needle or a defect. Especially a defect.
46.Burn ouija boards, but be sure to have one of those car fresheners handy. The real reason why spirits get pissed off because of that foul aroma that it produces when burned.
47.Never confront animated puppets physically. Subdue them with spells or they'll come back with minions or in a real physical body.
48.If you find yourself unable to escape, dancing may ward off the entity. Doing the Hokey Pokey is known to ward off curious monsters but you might have to do the Moonwalk to deal with zombies.
49.If you're checking your computer for viruses and you go TOO deep into System 32, refrain from clicking on any .avi files.
50.If you see old tapes containing the words: "Happy" Or "Appy", pretend you never saw them, and go on with your life.
51.If you buy a used camcorder and find the previous owner left one of their tapes inside, refrain from watching that tape no matter how tempting it may be.
52.Be careful when buying an old, second-hand TVs.
53.If you see a guy with both an incredibly large smile and black and white eyes, extricate yourself from the premises post-haste.
54.Don't go to a friends house to bake cupcakes if they have random spurts of insanity.
55.Phone companies with low coverage are best avoided.
56..exe files with strange names are not safe, don't open them.
58.If you are told to not look behind you, its better to do so, unless you're against a wall.
59.Also, do not listen to anybody who tells you to go to sleep. Its better to run away.
60.If you see a tall man with tentacles, run!
61.Don't enter strange websites.
62.Don't enter strange places.
63.Not even strange videos.
64.If a woman who covers her mouth asks you if she is beautiful, an answer of "average" will prevent her form slicing your mouth.
65.No good can ever come from owning a shiny Pokemon.
67.Don't be so hesitant when being asked to look behind you, but don't take forever. No reason to keep certain death waiting.
70.Should you break rule 54, there is always a chance of rescue.
71.If your brother is tired of noise or if your close friend has a brother like that, refrain from going into his basement unless you want to be tortured, raped and killed.
72.If you buy a Memory Card and it has save data in it, delete all of the saves.
73.If you get a drawing of Sonic on a disc and the only file in that disc is a .exe file called Sonic don't play it destroy it or a demonic being that looks like Sonic might kill you. If he chooses not to he will scar you for life.
74.If you see what appears to be a 12 year old kid, with black shorts, a gray, bloody shirt, red shades, and a maniac grin, DO NOT, under any circumstances, piss him off.
75.Any software that you're desperate to get must be obtained from a legit source.
76.Even on Christmas paranormal activity can happen.
77. Neighbors may have a darker side. If they do things that seem off for them, act normal.
78. In addition to rule 77, if you hear foreign voices from your body, that means you've been body jacked.
79.If you are an adult and notice that are being stalked by a guy with a black suit, long arms, and no face, reach for the nearest child and throw him/her at him then run like hell.
80.If you are child in the same situation, run like hell before said adult uses you to satify aforementioned being's craving hunger. If you do not manage to escape before the adult snags you, try bargaining with the Slenderman that the adult has more delicious flesh.
81.The Slenderman (said monster descripted in the last two tips) feeds on paranoia. If you remember Slenderman only wants a hug he wont go after you because if you think Slenderman only wants a hug you wont be AS paranoid as before leaving you less of a targate. But if Slenderman does stalk you RUN MAN!
82.If all else fails, give Slenderman twenty dollars, and he should leave you alone.
84.If you are terrified about how the Creepypasta Wiki Members Pasta is going to end, remember, it specifically made so that anyone can add or change the story. If you want a happy ending or just a flat-out ending, you have the power to do so.
85.If you are being chased by any Creepypasta and feel that you are 100% out of options, attempt to run to wherever Stephen King is doing his next book signing. Your killer will be far too interested in trying to get an autograph to remember what they were doing there in the first place. If Stephen King is not in your general vicinity at the time, R.L. Stine is always available.
Follow these simple rules and little (or massive) harm may befall you. Either way, the important thing is to make sure your tale is told, copied, and pasted repeatedly. And, it's also suggested to be read by MrCreepyPasta. Doing so will asure its epicness
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2012-12-13 23:01:44