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FrequentDeath (2013-05-10 13:36:47)4. Keep stories long, make sure you have the time to write one, and instead of a few lines which you used the enter key to put a space in between dialogue to make it look longer than it is.
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ccisawesome (2013-05-10 13:38:58)part two dident make sence as much
This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:2013-06-01 21:52:02
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ccisawesome (2013-05-17 12:54:48)ok ill continue but im going camping so the part2 wont be on tell may 21
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"Rinngg" "Rinnggg" his alarm clock sounded"Awwwrr" he awoke with terable stiff ness. "must have been the bed" his hair all messy still in his pajamas up he stutered to the bathroom"woahhh!!" he screamed as he stared at the mirror, at his bloody, brused face" what in the world did i do last night, awwe" he turned the foset and spashed cold water on his face. He thought back to last night but could not remmeber, anything. He walked out with his face wet and his hair more messy,"Ringggg" "Rinngg" the door bell rang he ran to the door and slammed it open "What!!" he froze in fear, feelling the metal gun right up touching his for head"wha- what do you want" he slured out, "I want you dead! good bye" he ducked as he felt the bullet flow right through his messy hair. As a normal reaction he kicked the man in the croch "awww" the man said as he fell to the ground. The boy was shocked, frozen, "oh! run!" the boy ran to the back door praticly crying "what do i do! what do i do!!"he see's a gun shot hit the door frame shatering the wood. He opens the back door scatering to get to his dads car "no keys!" he runs as fast as he can heart pumping lungs dieing all to find a busy street, where people can see him, where people can see the man.
Part two
He stumbled out onto the sidewalk"help!help!!"he cryed A large, black suv slamed on the breaks right in front of him. A woman opened the pasanger door"getin!"the woman shouted, he furiously jumped into the car. Than a gun shoot he ducked not noing what direction it came from, he felt the broken glass cumble ontop of his forehead. "are you alright" mumbled the boy, but when he looked over he new. The women had been shot, the blood gushing from the womans head was terrifing. The boy suddenly barfed alover the car."plan B i guess"the boy said to himself, he opened the glovebox to find a small gun, maby a pistle. The metal felt cold on his sweaty palm he quickly exited the car diving behind a bush. part 3 soon
2013-06-01 21:50:44