Perfect_Chaos (2013-11-15 21:25:29)

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6.5/10
Rating: E

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MindfulJoker686 (2013-11-18 21:47:37)

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Rating: D
(I'm not using ESRB )
(I'm using my own one, G D C A. G being bad and A being best ever.)

This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:
2013-11-18 21:49:17

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spadeguy (2013-11-24 14:46:29)

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I have some pointers,

If you want to show that your character is thinking, use the [i ](insert thought)[/ i] tags.
Make sure to spellcheck after each paragraph.
"Begin a new line if you want to make it appear as though someone is talking." said Spadeguy, "Unless the same person is going to be talking."

The most important part is the descriptive language used. People need mental imagery in order to continue in your story.

Let's suppose you want to describe your character going through a scary hallway.
Instead of going:

Stan walked down the scary hallway, and noticed the walls were old.

Put

As Stan walked down the dark hallway his footsteps echoed. The dirty walls showed peeling wallpaer with a faded print, the telltale signs of aging.

Imagine the setting then describe it. That's all I got...

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Perfect_Chaos (2013-11-24 20:11:11)

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Make it more interesting and maybe have more characters.

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