AntiChrist (2014-08-27 00:47:52)

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.....You're the kind of writer I aspire to be

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Mephistopheles (2014-08-27 16:05:48)

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Something about your writing style is all wrong.
Eliminate the fluff. Too much exposition. If a whole novel was written like this it'd be a nightmare.

By trying to make the setting immersive, you tried too hard and it had the opposite effect.

Ayn Rand/10

This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:
2014-08-27 23:06:54

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