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ISDT 8 - Nintendo Direct
life.
Iwakura (2015-07-04 21:34:40)Tidus' taunt: that one "badly voice acted" laughing scene
>MFW someone says "It actually was badly voice acted".
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Nintendo Direct - Oh... You want the date? Well... your guess is as good as mine...
Hello. I am Satoru Iwata from Nintendo. For today's Nintendo Direct, we give you even more bull[bleep] than from the Nintendo E3 press conference. I have even more heart-wrenching information to give you - directly - from Nintendo.
We have a brand new roster of characters that we hope you enjoy. Such as: Hank Hill, Slippy Toad, Ash Ketchum, Spongebob and Patrick, Woody from Toy Story, Magikarp, and even Sakurai, himself. Some other newer characters include: Doge, Timmy Turner, Reggie Fils-Aime, Barack Obama, Reggie Fils-Aime's body, Sharkeisha, Charlie Charlie, Heather the Creepy Janitor, the Aguretti Dealer, and Taylor Swift. More will be announced soon.
We shall also anounce all of the gaming platforms this game will be released on. These are: Atari, NES, SNES, N64, Wii, Wii U, NX, NDS, DSi, 3DS, Xbox, Xbox 360 and Xbox One (Kinect), PSone, PS2, PS3 (PSMove), PS4, PSP, PSVita, Sega Genesis, and Sega Dreamcast, and we can not forget PC, Mac, iOS, and Android. This will also be released on some flip-phones (Samsung and LG). All of these versions will be cross-compatible with each other. So if you are on an DSi and want to play with your friend who has a Wii U, or when you have a flip-phone and want to play with your friend who has an Xbox One, you can do that.
Will we go bankrupt from game development costs? Most likely, yes. Are we trying to kill your brain cells? Probably not, but is it working?
We heard you, KaptonChaos, and frankly, we don't give a [bleep!]. It's all because you're a fan. And fans don't matter to us.
SSB5 will be produced by Michael Bay, so there will be many more explosions in this game than ever before.
The graphics are beautifully rendered, so the explosions will be more HD than you think.
We have added three more types of Mii Fighters. The first one is the common anime school girl. We feel that this addition is very great for you weeaboos out there.
The second one is the brony fighter. This fighter uses his techniques of throwing his Equestria Girls figures to non-bronies to immediately knock them off-stage.
The third one is the wimp. The wimp fighter will usually hide in corners, and covers his eyes, squats, and squeals much like a wild pig when enemies get too close. The wimp fighter does attack, but when he does, he will manage to cause damage of under 1%. So when your damage level is at .00657%, you can be proud and say, "Oh, yeah, that wimp tried to punch me, earlier."
We will not show official gameplay until late 2015, but when it gets here, you will be even more disappointed.
That is all we have for you today. Join us next time when I announce that we've gone bankrupt. Goodbye.
KaptonChaos: I'm pissed off. I've lost all faith in Nintendo. *kneels down and starts crying*
Wimp Fighter: *walks by* Ugh, what a wimp.
The end.
2015-06-19 01:53:52